Unusual professions #1...temple cow feeder

Some say that anyone can make money in Mumbai. That's why its sought after by all our Indian junta. One can find all kinds of professions - usual and unusual. It is surprising how people earn their living. Let's see an example. Let me call this profession "temple cow feeder". The choice of this title is not entirely precise, but then I have yet to find anything more suitable. As we shall see, there is a reason why we call this profession as "cow feeder" (and not as, say, "cowherd").

I've observed (as would have so many Indians) this set of people outside temples with one or more cows and a heap of green grass. Hindus and Jains believe that cow is a sacred animal and one must feed the cow to get blessed (and to credit to our "karmic account"). The cow is typically tied to a tree or post and is usually under a nice shady tree (if the cow is lucky). There are one or more persons in charge of the cow. One needs to pay some money (Rs. 2/- is minimum in the posh suburbs) to this person(s) and they will give us a bundle of green grass. This green grass needs to be fed to the cow. The cow and the person are in position by morning 9 a.m. and this might go on till afternoon or late evening (depending on the demand). (Remember - this is a business model. All business rules apply (including demand/supply)).

Now, I wonder sometimes if the cow ever gets fed up of eating the same old green grass. Cows outside Jain temples are more lucky. As per their rules, Jains do not eat anything that has been prepared a day before. So any leftovers are also brought along and fed to the cows. Sometimes, the cow will ignore grass that is being fed and instead prefer to eat chappatis and bread.

That's not the main point. The point is that the person in charge of the cow is actually just a "feeder". That person is not the owner nor the cowherd. Nor does the person look after the cow or give her a bath or milk her. The way this works is simple (if you know): A designated cow from a stable (tabela) is brought over by the real cowherd and handed over to the "feeder". This happens outside the temple - only that we are too busy to take notice of this "handover". The cow has probably been milked in the tabela and given a scrub and brought to the place. Now, this feeder takes over and handles the feeding of the cow until the "time" is up. The cowherd again makes an appearance and, after taking a (hefty) commission from the feeder, takes away the cow back to the tabela.

This is real "business". If one is lucky, the feeder might make hundreds of rupees outside popular temples. Instead of the cow remaining idle in the stable, the cowherd "leases" it to the feeder who acts like an "agent". After the time is up, they split the earnings (in whatever agreed upon ratio). It is probably good for the cow too. Its breakfast and lunch get taken care of. Everyone is happy - including the people paying money to buy the grass.

Time to publish this model in HBR (Harvard Business Review). Some MBA courses might want to study this "model", after they have had enough of the dabbawalas. As a bonus, some of these feeders and cowherds might get to attend some royal wedding in Britain.

The curious case of Dadar "Junction"

My elders told me that a "junction" was always a station that was "big". While that satisfied my curiosity when I was small, I could see that the definition was not entirely correct as I grew up. Take for example, Mahim on the Western Railway. It is a junction, though it is small (compared to say Andheri, which is not a junction).

Some search on the subject revaled the following definition: A junction is a place where 2 or more "lines" meet (line is a set of tracks proceeding along a certain route). This is obvious if one considers the English meaning of the word "junction". Thus, Mahim is a junction since 2 different routes converge at Mahim; the Harbour line proceeding to King's Cirlce and the Western line proceeding to Matunga Road converge at Mahim. So, Mahim is a junction. Andheri is not a junction by the same definition.

What about Dadar? Technically, Dadar station has lines from Central and Western Railway. But, then the stations are physically different. Dadar Central Railway station is a physically separate entity from Dadar Western Railway station, even though their names are the same. Heck, even the station codes for the 2 stations are different (it is "DR" on the Central and "DDR" on the Western). That the 2 stations are connected by a bridge (actually 3 bridges - 2 railway and 1 for normal pedestrians) does not matter. Dadar is technically not a "junction". Now, confirm this fact by looking at the name of the station painted all over the platforms and you will see that Dadar is not a junction.

That's when the mystery starts: Travelling into Dadar from Parel (on the Central Railway), one can see an old dilapidated and abandoned building on the left hand side. This is just before entering the Dadar station. One can also see this, travelling on the Western Railway from Elphinstone Road to Dadar. This building is then on the right hand side. Painted on the walls of the building one can still clearly see the words "Dadar Junction South Cabin". What? Dadar, a junction?

Maybe it WAS a junction a few decades ago. Or was it a painting mistake? Most likely to be the former.

Ground floor blues

Having stayed in a ground floor apartment all these years, its time to think back and make a comparison. If I were to buy a flat now, it would have to be some higher floor (surely not ground floor)...maybe the 3rd or 4th floor. Of course, there are very few buildings that have a ground floor flat these days; most usually have a stilt which is used for parkng vehicles.

Here are the advantages v/s disadvantages of a ground floor flat:

Advantages:

• Easy access (especially for elderly people in apartments where there is no elevator) for people as well as for material movement
  
• Staying on the ground floor is ideal if one has kids. Kids are in no danger of falling out from the windows or balconies and parents can even let their kids out to play and keep an eye on them
• Water pressure is the highest at the ground floor. So, water flow is guaranteed to be the highest.
  

Disadvantages:

• With too many apartments around, ground floor flats do not get the pleasure of enjoying a good sea breeze; besides, there is too much pollution and dust
  
• Diwali and other such festivals are a big pain. Most people burst crackers on the ground level; so decibel levels are the highest.
  
• Kids playing cricket is a perpetual problem because of the fear of broken window panes
• If one has to study for exams, it is also difficult to concentrate with so much noise around
  
• Privacy is also of concern since the windows are at an average person's height
• With the recent 26th July floods, it is also clear that ground floor flats are the most affected by the water coming into their houses

What we learnt and forgot

It is clear that we (myself included) forgot the most important things taught in school. We need to remind ourselves of the very basics of how to perform our everyday activities. It is not surprising that most of us do not know: how to breathe, how to stand, how to sit, how to sleep, how to eat, how to take a bath, etc. Maybe it is because we do not pay much attention to these things - since these seem to be so insignificant. Or maybe it is because we have not been taught how to perform these things exactly.

Upon reading some books on various topics such as yoga, acupressure and others, it became clear to me that we were not following the basic rules that we had been taught. For example, all of us were taught that we should stand "straight", but on observation, I find hardly anyone (including myself) following that rule. After having read about the harmful effects of not following these rules, I've tried to follow these as often as I can. I also observed if others are following these.

A nice example is to take a look at people standing at the bus-stop. It is morning time and people have got up and look fresh and are waiting for the bus. But none of them is standing straight. And its not because they are tired (come on - they've gotten up after at least 5 hours of rest - and this is the start of their day). Maybe it is the fashion to stand by putting one's weight on one leg and folding the other (like the ramp models do). But remember what we were taught - to stand straight. Probably the problem is that we were not taught "how to stand straight".

Here then is what I have gathered from reading various books:

Standing:

• One must always stand straight with the body weight thrown equally on both the legs.
• Why: If one does not stand straight, the body will soon feel tired, the spine is affected and the mind becomes dull
• How: Here is a secret: The weight of the body is to be borne not on the calves, but on the thighs. The thighs must be "pulled and rolled" inside and the buttocks must be held tight. Do it and see the difference. Of course, the spine must be kept erect and the feet close to each other.
• Symptom: The easiest is to observe the soles of the footwear worn by the person. If the soles are worn out at an angle, then the person is not standing straight (as in this definition)

Breathing:

• Breathing must always be slow and steady.
• Why: If one does not breathe slowly, the mind is likely to get carried away by all the distractions. One will easily get excited and will not be able to concentrate. Indeed, the ancient science of pranayama (the 4th stage of the 8-stage yoga) is precisely the control of breath - so that the mind can be controlled.
• How: Each cycle of breathing has 4 steps: inhaling, holding the breath in the inhaled state, exhaling and holding the breath in the exhaled state. The recommended ratio for this is 1:4:2:2. By practice, one can increase each cycle to take more than a minute.

Eating:

• One must eat slowly and chew the food properly.
• Why: If one eats hastily without chewing the food properly, the food will not get digested properly. The stomach may need to overwork for performing the digestion. Not chewing the food properly has been specified (by ancient wisdom) to be the main cause of diabetes.
• How: Each morsel of food must be chewed at least 32 times to ensure proper mixing with the salivia. This itself ensures that the food is pre-digested reducing the burden on the stomach.

More about the other activities in a later post (maybe).

Censorship...the forgotten point of view

Those were the months that went by when not a day passed without someone crying foul over the curtailing of the "freedom of expression" (and all the other "freedom*"). I am talking about the months that finally led to the closure of dance bars (first in Maharashtra excluding Mumbai and then in Mumbai). Many "freedom zealots" raised a lot of arguments opposing the ban - some of these arguments were an "eye opener" to say the least. Sample some of them:

• With dance bars closing, the jobless women will take to prostituion
• It is much safer to travel in the night because there are always people around (believe me - some people actually said that!)
• Men will now start spending their monies in other illegitimate ways
• If dance bars are banned, so should all other activities like smoking, alcohol, etc.
• All 5 star hotels should stop the dances since they too have women dancing with little clothes
• ...and so on

Although I agree with some of the statements above, I do not support the "freedom movement". Freedom, as everyone knows, comes with its own responsibilities and duties. In India, the mental age of people is very low (this maybe because of illiteracy or Bollywood films or whatever). Therefore, censorship becomes essential.

One point that I want to particularly highlight is this: the recent sentencing to death in the Borivli double murder case brought back this issue to my mind. It should be noted that the boys in the case were thinking of robbing their victims because they wanted money to spend on the girls in a dance bar. It has also been reported that one of the boys was a drug addict - but we will overlook that issue since drugs are already banned (and no one has a problem with that...except maybe the addicts themselves).

That many robberies took place or desire to make a quick buck was felt because of the lure of the dance bars is well known. In a discussion with some people, when this argument was put forward supporting the ban on the dance bars, the "freedom guys" pointed out that money is also being sought after for things like cigarettes and alcohol. So, even these should be banned.

But the magnitude of money spent in smoking is so miniscule that it is pointless to commit a robbery just to get a cigarette. I mean we are talking about a difference in scale. The money spent by individuals in a dance bar has been reported to be in the few thousands in a sinlge night. Now, if someone blows up that much money for smoke in a single day, he will surely die (or it might be one of those famed Cuban cigars (Davidoff?) that cost a fortune). Ditto for alcohol.

We do not know the "real" reason for the dance bar ban. (Some have blamed the concerned ministers saying that they were demanding more money from the dance bars which the owners were not willing to cough up.). Whatever be the case, at least, now there is some respite from the nuisances posed by these bars that seemed to be mushrooming up anywhere and everywhere. And, we hope, that wisdom finally dawns upon our people so that they do not want to make a quick buck by harming other innocent people.

The world's longest song title ever?

A decade ago I thought that one of Paul Simon's song would be the longest song title ever. This title has 77 characters (including whitespace and punctuation) and is

A Simple Desultory Philippic (Or How I Was Robert McNamara'd Into Submission)

A few years ago that changed and I think the longest one belongs to a musical piece of a group called Shakti featuring John McLaughlin, Vikku, Zakir and L. Shankar. The title of this is 117 characters long (including whitespace and punctuation) and is

What Need Have I for this? What Need Have I for that? I am dancing at the feet of my lord, all is bliss, all is bliss

The discography for Shakti (and its recent avtaar "Remember Shakti") is to be found here.

And while we are at Shakti, I'd been to one of the "Remember Shakti" shows in December 2000. The show was at Shanmukhananda Hall, King's Circle. Quite an amazing experience. The show was recorded live and is marketed as an album "Saturday Night In Bombay" (one of the claps you hear in the album could be mine :-)).

My only contention is that L. Shankar (double violin = ten-string violin) got replaced by U. Srinivas(mandolin) as part of the change in "Remember Shakti". Srinivas is mesmerizing on the mandolin (a "foreign" instrument adapted by Srinivas himself to be suitable to play the subtle microtones required in the Carnatic ragas. But, Shankar would have added to the authenticity of the original Shakti. In addition, Vikku is replaced by his son (Selva Ganesh playing Kanjira) in "Remember Shakti".Guess Vikku is busy with his percussion school in Chennai.

A host of others like Shankar Mahadevan and Pt. Bhawani Shankar chip in at appropriate points in the "Remember Shakti" concert.

Mumbai Wastes Water - Part 1

Mumbai thinks of wasting water in various ways. Some of these are very obvious, while some are not. Among the common ones are leaking water pipes, using filtered tap water for cleaning automobiles, brushing with the tap on, etc. There are some pointers to this kind of wastage in my earlier post.

In this multi-part series, I will keep looking out for not so obvious ways in which precious water (aka "white gold") is wasted by Mumbai and her (his?) inhabitants.

In this blog post, I focus on a very strange custom found in restaurants. As soon as customer enters a restaurant and takes a seat, some special "water boys" or waiters keep a glass full of water in front of the customer. This is like a welcome drink - a typical scenario in an Indian house - we always offer water to our guests. Of course, we do ask them whether they would like to have cold water or room-temperature water.

The problem is that some customers are not thirsty at all. The question is what happens to this glass of water. Will it be taken away to be served again to another customer? Or will it be thrown away, washed, refilled and then served? Most likely the second case. In which case, there is a wastage of water of about a glassful of water. Not much I say. I know...but if you consider the number of customers visiting the restaurant in a day, this adds up. Now, multiply this by the number of restaurants and that is some quantity we are talking about. I know this still does not match up to the quantity Mumbai wastes in other ways, but then every drop counts.

Another problem is that most customers do not want to drink the entire glass: a sip or two will keep their thirst on hold till the time the thirst is fulfilled by ordering some other drinks. In this case, more than half of the glass of water will be thrown away.

The problem does not end here: some restaurants have instructed their "boys" not to keep any water glass empty. An example of this can be seen in Sudershan (Udipi) at Saki Naka. The "boys" keep filling the glass the moment its empty. So, if you wanted to drink 2 glasses of water, you will get those plus an extra one that is wasted anyways.

Wherever possible, I instruct these "boys" not to serve water to me, since I do not trust the water anyways. I might rather drink boiled tea than contaminated water (my dad's rule #1 while travelling...more about that later in another post). Often these "boys" get shouted at by the senior waiters for not serving me water and then I have to tell them that it was my choice.

Then, there are some seemingly more intelligent eateries: like at Panshikar in Dadar where they keep a common tray of filled water glasses per table; so only those customers that want to take water, actually do so. And after drinking, one is supposed to keep the glass out of the tray...so that the "boys" know that it is a used glass. Such practice is also seen in some of the bigger hotels/halls where conferences are held.

Peer pressure

I have observed people in India live under tremendous peer pressure. Here, I use the term peer to mean friend, co-worker, neighbor, relative or sibling.

Now, if one is motivated to do fine things because of this pressure, it is fine...but, as is to be expected, the results are almost never positive. Consider the kinds of pressure that a materially-attached middle or upper-middle class Mumbaikar is subjected to:

• Peer gets better marks than me
• Peer gets into a better college/university than me
• Peer has bought a car and I haven't
• Peer has bought a bigger car and I have a smaller one
• Peer has visited abroad and I haven't yet
• Peer visits different countries 4 times a year and I only have a trip once a year
• Peer is now the big-shot of a well-known company
• Peer has bought a new house
• Peer has better interiors in his house than mine
• ...and the list goes on

Believe it or not, this is the driving factor for most people. I know of a co-worker who got promoted and happened to get a car as part of his new renumeration package. Being eligible for the "small-sized" car, he naturally bought the small-sized car. Within 6 months, I could hear him say that he should have bought a bigger car.

Very recently, a middle-aged woman lost her life due to this car-owning craze of her neighbor. The details are to be found in this article in the Mid-Day. It seems that a newly-trained car owner was trying to drive the car on her own and in the process she crushed her neighbor to death. She accidentally pressed the accelerator instead of the brake.

For the spiritually-inclined, however, there is no such pressure. Whether that is good or bad for the society depends on how you look at it.

It might be important to understand what great thinkers like the Adi Shakarcharya have to say about this. In Bhaja Govindam by Adi Shankaracharya, one comes across the following:

sura mandira taru mUla nivAsa:
shayyA bhUtalam ajinam vAsa:
sarva parigraha bhoga tyAga:
kasya sukham na karoti virAga:

The translation is:

Living in temples or at the foot of the trees,
sleeping on the ground, wearing deer-skin, renouncing all possession
and thier enjoyment - to whom will not dispassion bring happiness?

Who is wiser? Us or Adi Shankaracharya?

Culinary confusion

One of the things that I oft get confused about is the difference between a cutlet and a pattice. I can't seem to point out which is called which. And just when I have figured some difference, there would be some eatery that has to name the items the other way around.

As per current understanding:
A pattice is a plain potato-mashed round that is either shallow fried or deep fried with or without a batter cover. The English word is "patty", I guess...and therefore, the plural is "patties". The Indian spelling that one sees used in the restaurant menus is pattice. A pattice is mostly creamish in color and is mostly eaten with a gravy like chole/ragda.
A pattice, I think, is also referred to as a chop (or is it chaap), especially in the east of India.

A cutlet, on the other hand, has something to do with much more than potatoes. For example, one hears of a vegetable cutlet. This is mostly brown- or deep red-colored and is eaten with sauce or ketchup.

Occasionally, one finds eateries used these names to mean the other dish.

Diwali Snacks shopping

As outlined in an earlier post, there is such an activity as "Snacks Shopping" during Diwali. This year there were a few additions to the list of shops from where we bought those snacks. Apart from Cafe Mysore at King's Circle and Sapre's at Goregaon, we bought stuff from Shri Krishna Sweets at Chembur and Anand Bhavan at King's Circle.

Each place is well-known for specific varieties of snacks and sweets and hence the need to buy different things from different shops. The fact that these shops are located in 3 different corners in Mumbai is not a deterrent for people like me (who travel by train anyways...now, try doing that by car in 3 hours on a working day).

The "Shri Krishna Sweets" thing cropped up quite late on the" radar" and needs some explanation. For those who do not know, "Shri Krishna Sweets" has sweets and snacks of the Tamil variety and is "headquartered" in Coimbatore. It has branches all over Tamilnadu and even in Bangalore. This shop in Chembur is a newly opened branch and is probably the only one in Mumbai. One of the specialty sweet items is what they call as "Mysurpa" (and what Maharashtrians call as "Mysore Pak"---no connection to Pakistan, as in "Indo Pak". The "Pak", I guess, stands for "sweet syrup").

So, it was that someone had gifted a box of Mysurpa from Shri Krishna Sweets much before Diwali and my mom took a liking to it. It was mon's desire to buy Mysurpa from there that drove me to Chembur this Diwali.
Armed with a list of items to buy (and the shops to buy them from), I reached Chembur and tried to locate the shop. It didn't take me long to find it since it is on N. G. Acharya Marg (the station road in Chembur East that runs parallel to the track). It is on the right hand side as we move from the station entrance towards Govandi.

I bought some 2.5 kg of Mysurpa and 2 kg of "Corn Flake" Halwa (yes, that's right...the salesperson said that they did not sell wheat halwa, only corn flakes).

Diwali is over and all the snacks and sweets have been exhausted too. Let's see if this shop figures in the list next Diwali.

End of Semester

Phew! Doing a semester (especially @ IIT) takes quite a toll, even though it is part-time. The final exams are now over and so are the classes. There's only a small assignment left, but there's enough time for that.

That might explain the sudden flurry of posts to this blog now and the absence of any in the last few weeks.

Luckily for me, a spate of regular quizzes (with the marks of each contributing by a certain weight to the final grades) ensured that I did not have to "slog" towards the end.

Common Mumbai misnomers

The game is in the name. Here are some common misnomers...terms and names that you might hear, but might mistake it for something very similar sounding. We'll add more to this list as time goes by.

• Vashi Naka is nowhere near Vashi
• Turbhe (the Hindi name for Trombay) is also a place near Vashi
• JVLR ends at Powai as of today...the original plan was (or maybe still is) to extend it to Vikhroli
• Lower Parel is not closer to Parel...if one wants to go to Parel by travelling through WR, the correct station to disembark is Elphinstone Road (remember, "Lower" in terms of railway lingo means more closer to the starting station on the "down" line, that is from Churchgate to Dadar)
  
• Matunga Road is not equal to Matunga (the Z bridge to cross over from Matunga Road station on the Western Railway to Matunga on the Central Railway takes about 10 minutes by walk)
• Marol Depot v/s Marol Maroshi Depot (these are a few km apart)
  
• Prabhodhankar Thackeray Udyaan (Charkop) v/s Prabhodhankar Thackeray Chowk (Sewree)